Kids Be Well Website

Reliable guideline for children's health

How to Help Your Child Cope with Bullying

Medically Reviewed

Medically reviewed

Evidence Based

Evidence based

Updated Date

Updated on January 17, 2025

Bullying is a painful challenge that many children face, and it can be particularly distressing for parents. Witnessing your child suffer from bullying can lead to feelings of anxiety and helplessness. However, with the right approach, parents can help children build resilience and confidence to cope with bullying. This article offers actionable strategies for supporting your child through these difficult experiences, using David’s story as a case study.

David’s Story: Coping with Bullying

David, a 10-year-old boy known for his gentle and kind nature, has been experiencing bullying at school. His classmates mock him for his appearance and clothing, and some bullies even push him during recess. David comes home feeling sad and reluctant to return to school. His self-worth begins to decline, and he becomes anxious about social interactions. As parents, it's crucial to take action to help David regain his confidence and cope with bullying.

How to Help Your Child Cope with Bullying

1. Listen and Understand Your Child’s Feelings The first step in helping your child deal with bullying is to communicate openly and listen to their feelings. Ask your child, "Can you tell me what happened today? How do you feel about it?" Let your child express their emotions freely and reassure them that their feelings are valid. Emotional support is essential for children to cope with the stress of bullying, according to psychologist Judith Harris.

2. Teach Assertive Self-Expression Teaching your child how to express their feelings assertively is a powerful tool for building confidence. Encourage them to set boundaries and calmly tell the bullies, “Please stop that” or “I don’t like it when you do that.” Assertiveness is an important skill in preventing bullying, as emphasized by child psychology expert Laura Maloney. Empowering your child to stand up for themselves can help reduce bullying.

3. Contact the School to Address Bullying Reach out to your child’s teacher or school staff to report the bullying. Many schools have a zero-tolerance policy for bullying, and they are obligated to take action. Collaborate with the school to ensure your child's safety and emotional well-being. Suggest implementing anti-bullying programs to foster empathy and awareness among classmates.

4. Teach Coping Strategies for Bullying Help your child develop coping strategies for handling bullying. Practical methods include ignoring provocations or walking away from confrontations. Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, can help your child remain calm during stressful situations. Research shows that these coping skills improve emotional resilience and enable children to manage bullying more effectively.

5. Build a Strong Social Support Network Encourage your child to form friendships and participate in extracurricular activities like sports or art clubs. Psychologists recommend these activities to help children develop social skills and self-esteem. A supportive network of friends can make it easier for your child to navigate social challenges and feel more confident.

6. Address Mental Health Concerns If your child continues to experience anxiety or depression due to bullying, consider seeking professional help. A licensed therapist can offer additional support and help your child process their emotions. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), early intervention is crucial for mitigating the long-term effects of bullying on a child’s mental health.

Key Takeaways: How to Support Your Child in Coping with Bullying

  • Listen and Validate: Provide emotional support by letting your child express their feelings.
  • Teach Assertiveness: Encourage your child to set boundaries and assert themselves in difficult situations.
  • Collaborate with the School: Ensure your child’s safety by working with school officials to address the bullying.
  • Teach Coping Skills: Help your child develop practical coping strategies for handling bullying.
  • Foster Social Support: Encourage friendships and involvement in activities that promote self-esteem.
  • Seek Professional Help: If bullying causes long-term emotional distress, consider therapy.

FAQ: Addressing Bullying with Your Child

1. How can I tell if my child is being bullied? Look for signs of distress, such as a sudden decline in school performance, reluctance to go to school, physical complaints (e.g., stomachaches), changes in behavior, or withdrawing from social activities. If your child seems anxious or sad after school, it may indicate bullying.

2. Should I confront the bully's parents directly? It's best to work with the school first, as they can intervene appropriately. Confronting the bully’s parents directly can escalate the situation. Let the school handle it in a way that ensures your child’s safety and well-being.

3. What should I do if my child feels afraid to tell me about bullying? Create a safe and open environment for your child by reassuring them that they won’t get in trouble for reporting bullying. Use supportive language and encourage them to share their feelings. Regularly check in with your child to make sure they feel comfortable talking to you.

4. How do I help my child feel more confident at school? Encourage your child to engage in activities they enjoy and excel at, whether it’s sports, music, or art. Praising their efforts and accomplishments boosts their self-esteem. Also, help them develop healthy friendships that provide emotional support.

5. How can I help my child handle online bullying? Teach your child about online safety and the importance of reporting any bullying they encounter online. Encourage them to block or report bullies, and assure them that they can always come to you for support.

Conclusion Helping your child cope with bullying requires patience, understanding, and effective strategies. By providing emotional support, teaching coping skills, and working with the school, parents can help their children build resilience and confidence. Remember, bullying is never the child’s fault, and as a parent, you have the power to make a positive impact on your child’s well-being.

References

American Psychological Association. (2021). "Bullying and its impact on children." Retrieved from APA.

Harris, J. (1998). The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do. Free Press.

Maloney, L. (2020). Child Psychology: A Practical Guide. HarperCollins.