Let’s be real—when your child hits the teenage years, things can get... tricky. Maybe they talk back, roll their eyes, stay silent, or get emotional for no reason. Sound familiar?
Don’t worry. You’re not a bad parent. They’re not a bad kid. They’re just growing up—and their brains, bodies, and emotions are all changing fast. The good news? You can have a better relationship with your teen. Here’s how.
1. Teen brains are still under construction
Did you know that your teen’s brain won’t fully mature until their mid-20s? The part that helps them make decisions and control impulses (called the prefrontal cortex) is still developing. So if your teen makes impulsive choices or acts before thinking—it’s not just attitude. Their brain literally works differently from yours.
2. Listen more, lecture less
Teens hate feeling controlled. If you come in with too many lectures or “I told you so’s,” they’ll shut down fast.
Try this instead: Let them talk. Say things like, “It sounds like school’s been really stressful lately.” Once they feel heard, they’ll be more open to your advice.
3. Offer choices, not commands
Teens want to feel independent. If you give orders like “You have to do this now!”, they’ll likely push back.
Try this instead: Give them some control: “Would you rather do chores after dinner or tomorrow morning?” Letting them help set the rules builds trust.
4. Rebellion doesn’t mean they’re bad
Teens start to question rules, push limits, and think for themselves. That’s actually a normal part of growing up—it helps them figure out who they are.
What to do: Instead of getting mad, stay curious. Ask, “Why do you feel that way?” or “Help me understand what’s bothering you.”
5. Praise the good stuff (even the small things)
Teens are extra sensitive to criticism. Constant negative comments can hurt their confidence—and your relationship.
Try this: Catch them doing something right: “I saw you helping your little brother—that was kind.” It may seem small, but it means a lot.
6. Don’t avoid the “awkward” topics
Sex, relationships, online safety... teens are thinking about these things, whether they talk to you or not. It’s better they hear it from you than from the internet.
You don’t have to be perfect. Just be open. Say something like, “This might be a bit awkward, but I want you to know you can always come to me with questions.”
Final Thought: Your Teen Isn’t Your Enemy
It might feel like your teen is pulling away—but what they really need is your calm support, not control. You don’t need to have all the answers. Just keep showing up, keep listening, and let them know you’re on their side.
