A friend recently told me about her daughter:
"Every time there’s an exam, my daughter gets so nervous her stomach hurts. Even when she’s studied really hard, she still worries she’ll do badly. She can’t sleep the night before and says she’s scared to fail."
Sound familiar? Many families go through the same thing. Test anxiety isn’t rare—and it doesn’t mean a child is lazy or unprepared. In fact, it often affects kids who care the most.
Why Kids Feel So Anxious About Tests
Kids who feel anxious about exams aren’t always afraid of the questions—they’re afraid of failing. They worry about letting their parents down, disappointing their teachers, or being laughed at by classmates. Some even believe, deep down, that a bad grade means they’re not good enough.
For kids still figuring out who they are, it’s easy to tie their self-worth to their scores. When that happens, even small tests can feel like a huge deal—and that’s when anxiety kicks in.
What Can Parents Do?
1. Avoid saying, “You have to do well.”
This might sound like encouragement, but kids often hear: “If you don’t do well, I’ll be disappointed.” Try saying something like, “We know you’ve worked hard—just do your best.”
2. Praise their effort, not just the result
When your child studies or sticks with a tough subject, celebrate the effort! Show them that their hard work matters, not just the final score.
3. Teach simple ways to calm down
Deep breathing, light exercise, or listening to relaxing music can help reduce stress. Even a short walk can make a big difference.
4. Help them talk to themselves kindly
Guide your child to say things like, “I studied, I’m ready,” instead of, “I’m going to mess this up.”
5. Keep the home environment relaxed
During exam time, don’t talk about tests all the time. Plan little breaks or fun activities so your child doesn’t feel overwhelmed.
6. Create a routine and plan ahead
A study schedule can help kids feel more prepared and less rushed at the last minute. This builds confidence and lowers stress.
Anxiety Isn’t the Enemy—But It Needs Support
Your child’s anxiety isn’t just “being dramatic.” It’s a real feeling, and it deserves your attention. When you respond with patience, understanding, and gentle support, your child learns they’re not alone—and that they’re stronger than they think.
At the heart of it, most anxious kids just want to know they’re still loved, no matter what the grade says. So don’t let their worth be defined by numbers. What they need most is you—cheering them on, not just for test scores, but for being who they are.
